


I've Lost You to Darkness...

by Ldrmaslaz248



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Castiel and Dean Winchester Have a Profound Bond, Episode: s11e12 Don't You Forget About Me, Jimmy is mentioned, M/M, One Shot, Season/Series 11
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-01-06
Updated: 2017-01-06
Packaged: 2018-09-15 05:30:12
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,960
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9221003
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ldrmaslaz248/pseuds/Ldrmaslaz248
Summary: Dean helps Claire, who asks if the fluffy angel of Thursday is doing alright. Best to what Dean knows is that he's doing just fine but is he really? With Lucifer inside him how can he be anything especially no where near fine. Taken place during the end of S11 episode 12, up to the end of season 11.





	

**Author's Note:**

> Hi, this is going to be a one shot for now! I only really wanted to write this because I wanted Claire to show a little more care about Castiel. Its one of my favorite relationships and I'm just a sucker for it. I don't necessarily see this as a coda that's why I didn't tag it as such. So I hope you all enjoy and please let me know what you think in the comments, comments and kudos are my life.  
> Oh and just so you all know " " are for normal speech as in one speaking to another, while ' ' is only for when Lucifer is talking to Castiel within Jimmy. I'm pretty sure I made it so that was clear but just in case it was confusing.

“Alright, Sam, you get Jody and Alex to a hospital then back to Jody’s house. While you, on the other hand, are coming with me, come on, I got ya.” Dean ordered as he threw Claire’s arm over his shoulder and lead her towards the Impala. 

“I’ve been bitten, Hasselhoff, I’m not dead. I can still walk just fine.” 

“Yeah, yeah just get in already.” Dean rolled his eyes and set her in the passenger seat before hopping into the driver side. Since he still had a key to Jody’s place, it was best to just head back there. 

“Why aren’t we going with them?” The last Novak finally asked after a few minutes of staring out into the darkened scenery. Dean chuckled as he turned down the music so that they could talk. 

“Hunter’s rule 101, never take a Vamp bite to a hospital, even with FBI badges it’s just a hassle to explain, so best bet is to just handle it yourself. Don’t worry, you keep hunting, you’ll be sewing yourself up like a pro in no time.” 

“So you’re going to patch me up?”

“Yep! I’m sure you can figure that Sam and I have done it so many times that we could probably do it with our eyes closed now.” Claire didn’t reply since that was when they pulled into the driveway of the house. Once they both settled in the kitchen, Dean cleaned the majority of the blood off so to see if any of the bite called for a needle and thread. 

“Well thankfully, the guy sucked as a vampire ‘cause this is one of the cleanest bites I’ve seen, just needs a bandage and you’ll be good as new.”

“Well, lucky me.” Claire replied sarcastically though continued to hold still as Dean went back to work. The eldest Winchester resumed to the task of getting off the remaining blood yet couldn’t help noticing how his patient was checking her phone screen literally every five seconds. As well as holding the device with a death grip. 

“Ya know, Sam would call if Jody is not okay, right?”

“What are you talking about?”

“Well, you look like you’re waiting for a call from the boy who’s going to take ya to the fall formal?”

“Psht… that’s the last thing I would ever wait for.”

“Okay then what’s with the constant checking?” Dean asked with a searching expression to the kid in the seat. Claire’s face went neutral but she then finally sighed with a slight roll of her eyes. 

“You won’t say anything to Jody, right?”

“Depends on…”

“It’s nothing like that! It’s just that…” Claire sighed again as she was trying to figure out what to say and how to go about it. 

“Okay, look, I just don’t want her to know that I’m still reaching out to Castiel.” 

“You are… wait, what?”

“It’s not a big deal, just sometimes when I’m in major trouble or distress I still pray or I guess ‘long’ for him, as he put it. He said I could whenever I need him so I just do sometimes. He never comes here cause I told him not to but he always calls me asking if I’m alright or what happened. So when that guy attacked Jody I was praying to him, then when those …those teeth sank into my skin I… I screamed out for him. I couldn’t help it.” The Novak girl confessed as she slumped down in her chair. 

“I just don’t want him to call back when Jody is here, I know she probably wouldn’t care but it’s still not any of her business, ya know?” She looked back up at him seeing if he understood or was just silently judging her. Dean did understand though. There were times he had prayed to Cas without wanting Sam to find out, even though nine times out of ten he did anyway. 

“Yeah, I mean… hey, it’s none of my business, either…” He went with that as a good enough come back before finishing up with her wound then turning away to put the supplies back in their place. He glanced at the clock knowing that Sam and the others would be returning soon. 

“Hey, how’s he doing, by the way? It’s weird not having him call back by now, so is he alright?” Claire knew it would be a long shot asking but really the next best person to ask if the fluffy winged angel was alright, other than said angel, was definitely Hasselhoff. Dean scoffed as he dried his hands after washing them before turning around to answer.

“As far as I know yeah, I mean last time I saw him he was a little more wacky than usual but there have been wackier times before that, so I’m going to go with he’s good and yeah…” 

“Yeah…” Claire replied casually though stared at the eldest Winchester with the famous Novak stare that just made it look like she was looking right through him, or at least right down to his very atoms. He almost wanted to make a joke of how much she looked exactly like Cas’s daughter right then and there despite it being not the case at all. The moment was interrupted however, as Sam arrived with Jody and Alex. 

The two of them didn’t bring it up again, not until the next day when the boys were heading out with practically a week’s worth of food. Alex had mentioned that she was thinking of moving on after high school and though Claire didn’t want to see her go, she still understood so she left that conversation for another time. She then pulled Dean off to the side. 

“Look, I know I shouldn’t rely on him but still, can ya just tell him to call me next time ya see him. I know I don’t know him like ya do, but still something…this just doesn’t feel right, alright?” 

“Well, you thinking something wasn’t right got us here in the first place so who knows, it’s not like it’ll kill me to ask, but ya owe me.” Dean replied with his big joking grin which Claire rolled her eyes at before hugging him briefly in thanks. He hugged back then stepped away and slid into his baby. Sam and he had a long drive back so the younger brother quickly fell asleep, who could blame him after spending most of it in a warehouse and then in a hospital, which gave Dean a few minutes of debating before gripping the steering wheel tightly. 

“Cas…” He started to say but in a quiet voice so not to wake the sleeping moose beside him. 

“…uh listen, Claire had some trouble and reached out to ya, I just…uh, look I just wanted you to know she’s okay and that we were with her. We took care of it but she said she usually reaches out to you and then you reach back to her, so look man I don’t like being the third wheel in this so yeah…just …yeah…” If he wasn’t driving, he would have slammed his forehead upon the steering wheel in frustration. 

That had seriously been one of the lamest prayers he had sent to the guy, but it’s not as if there was any way he could take it back now. There also wasn’t really anything else he could do, since their focus had to be solely on Amara. They had to take her out, so he couldn’t be worried if his telephone prayer got through or not. He had done what Claire asked, now it was time to move on. 

~0~

The moving on though, eventually led them straight back to Castiel, who they needed to time travel them to a submarine that was carrying a so called “Hand of God”. Dean was so busy trying to reassure Sam that he and Cas would be safe, that he didn’t care to ask if his earlier prayer had possibly gotten through to his friend, or if said best friend had called Claire back. No, he pushed all other thoughts that didn’t pertain to the mission from his mind and let Cas teleport him back in time. Only then did he find himself alone upon the sub, meaning he had much bigger problems on his hands.  
Lucifer had silently sighed once Sam came back into the room going on and on about how his baby brother wouldn’t be strong enough for the all-powerful spell that would break through the warding upon the metal submarine. 

‘Oh, if only he knew, right bro?’ Lucifer, which happened to be portrayed as his old vessel Nick, laughed at Castiel from within the vessel. He had Cas locked, in layers of chains and robes, in the scene of some medieval torture chamber. When Cas had said ‘yes’, his eldest brother had taken over full force. He had put forth a good act for the brothers once or twice, but they both knew that the archangel was getting frustrated with playing the role of the Angel of Thursday. Usually within Cas’s mind it was the bunker, home sweet home, always felt safe and welcoming, but now that Lucifer was driving, it was all in the image he wanted. Torture chambers, roaring flames, cold hard concrete, continuous darkness that was kept at bay by torchlight, the furthest thing from safe Castiel could possibly think of. 

Cas knew that all of this was all the power of his older brother’s grace. It was only the force of the stronger grace that was holding him yet he still struggled within the metal links. He was occasionally able to see and hear glimpses of what the eldest angel was doing, and now he jerked loudly in his chains, as he could clearly see Lucifer smashing Sam up against a pillar within the library. 

He heard in his own voice how Lucifer would slaughter Sam and bring back Dean only to then do the same to the older hunter. He fought against the chains with all the strength he had saved for a time such as this. He had very little strength when Lucifer had settled in but he knew now was the time to use what he had. 

Then as Luc’s hand dove straight into Sam’s soul, Castiel was flooded with power. He didn’t dare take time to question why the soul’s strength went to him, he just used it to break free of the hold and slam Lucifer away in a room in the bunker, which is what the scene had changed back to once he had broken free. He took over his vessel while he had the chance!

“Sam…it’s me…” Cas gasped out as he had knelt toward the taller Winchester, who of course asked why he had done this. He answered quickly as within the vessel he still held the archangel back, though the boost from the soul was draining and fast. 

“We…we need him to save Dean…” Castiel hated to admit it, but it was nothing but the truth. His grace was not enough to bring back Dean. His brother was needed, not only to save the world, but to save his friend. If they didn’t get Dean back, he would never begin to forgive himself. 

‘My turn, brother!’ Lucifer roared as he finally slammed through the hold Castiel tried to keep up and closed. Once the vessel was back in his hands, the archangel simply smirked at Sam before teleporting to get Dean. Just as the sub was about to explode, Dean and he were back in the bunker and, of course, Sam just had to open his big mouth. 

“Dean, that’s not Cas!” Dean’s horrified look was shot the vessel’s way as Lucifer only smiled innocently. 

“Cat’s out.” 

Castiel shuddered as he watched, from behind his own eyes, as his brother threw Dean across the room only to then grace force him up against a column of the library door. He tried to fight once more but his strength from Sam and the little he had saved in the beginning was now nearly drained so he screamed out instead. 

‘Lucifer, don’t! Don’t kill them!’

‘Shut up, brat, I’ll get back to you in a second!’ Luc had replied in conscious thought, as he continued on monologuing to the brothers. The Hand thankfully had turned out to be a one hitter, as Dean so jokingly put it, but now there was nothing stopping Lucifer from storming right up to his charge and killing him. 

‘NO! Lucifer, NO!’ He didn’t know who was more thankful for the blasting light and the agonizing pain of the banishing sigil, him or the Winchesters? He and Lucifer had been blown hundreds of miles away from the bunker, though once he recovered, his older brother had simply laughed off the pain and began beating up Cas three ways to Sunday. 

‘Oh Cassie, you really just don’t get it. I am doing you a huge favor being in here with ya. Yet here you are fighting me with everything your tiny angel body has, it’s adorable really! Don’t you remember that it was you who said yes! You let me in, ain’t that ringing any bells, baby bro?’

‘I let you in to defeat Amara. I said yes so you could destroy her, my reasons were no more nor no less than that. The Winchesters, they…ugh…they are my charge! My friends! I won’t let you hurt them!’ Castiel growled from his crouched position upon the kitchen floor of his mental bunker. Lucifer hadn’t bothered to change the scenery, he was having too much fun with beating the younger angel into a bloody pulp. 

‘Cas, baby bro, really, who are you kidding? They aren’t your friends! They are nothing but worthless sacks of brainless apes, who use you to their hearts content then toss ya right out like a used rain cloud. Heck, a friggin pencil pushing angel could even see that!’ Lucifer laughed as he released his grip on the smaller angel who slumped to the ground in a heap. 

‘Phew, ya know that was so much fun that you just got me right back in the mood, kiddo. Now, I got more Hands of Daddies to find, so ya just stay here and be a good silent roomie. Hey, if you behave once Aunty Amara is obliterated and all, I’ll let ya have front row seats to me killing your apish pets, ain’t that sweet of me!” With that Satan strolled out of the room and his laughter echoed off the tile.  
Cas curled up tightly to himself, not having any strength to think on what his older brother had said, other than the fact that only after the darkness was defeated would he would go after the brothers. Knowing they were safe for the moment eased him, though he knew it was a minor ease at best. 

~0~

He had done what his brother had said, he had taken the back seat, remaining quiet and out of mind. The archangel went on with his plans, sneaking up to heaven to gather their brothers and sisters to form an army. Cas smiled in the dark as two of their brothers had the guts to speak out against Lucifer, wither that defiance came from his time as leader or on their own didn’t matter, yet it was still good to see. As he silently stayed in the darker corners of his vessel, he took time to think. 

He analyzed what he could of his vessel flinching lightly in his chains as he began to see the damage and decay. Jimmy was always made for him, for only him, with Lucifer’s power flared out to the limit within Jimmy’s body it wouldn’t last. It was probable that it would hold and last until the battle but after that who knows. It pained him to know that Jimmy’s body was being destroyed just because he was too weak. 

He thought of Claire and how he had failed her as well. He had heard every single prayer from her since his brother had taken over. He prayed back to her with all his might, begging her to forgive him for not being there when he had promised he would. Then, of course, the brothers. The Winchesters were always at the forefront of his thoughts, even though so far, he knew that they were okay. They were the famous Winchesters after all, they had survived before he came along, certainly they didn’t need him to survive now. 

Castiel suddenly jerked from his thoughts as Lucifer was forced to the ground by a concussive force of darkness that swept through heaven like the lotus had swept through Egypt back in the day. Then after both heaven and his older brother recovered, it turned out later during that same day the brothers called out to Lucifer in offer of a partnership. Within the vessel, Lucifer stormed up to Castiel ripping him from his hiding place, smirk plastered all over his face. In laughter, the archangel ran a hand through the younger one’s hair before gripping the black locks tightly. 

‘You heard that, didn’t ya? Your sweet little human pets want a partnership. They think I’ll fall for their game, but we will just see how this false act plays out, shall we?’ Castiel didn’t even get a chance to answer as grace chains wrapped around him just as they had before, yet this time his mouth was gagged with so much force he could barely breathe. 

He wanted to question why this was necessary but Lucifer answered in the form of snapping his fingers making the kitchen scene tidy and normal. A new figure was within the scene as well, sitting upon the bench at the table, watching a tv with rabbit ears. His eyes widened as he registered that it was himself, in perfect condition and looking completely content while watching the black box. He grunted out in shock and surprise, slightly struggling against the chains before flinching away from the fingers that jerked his hair once again. 

‘Aww, shush now, little bro, it’s just a precaution, I’m sure you understand. Can’t have those bratty brothers see what I’m doing to ya. Now sit in here and keep your trap shut, or else.” With that Lucifer shoved him into a pantry before slamming and locking the door, which had a grated view meaning he could see out yet it would be hard to see inside the dark space. 

He waited in silence and watched as suddenly Crowley appeared. The King of Hell began talking to the illusion of himself, of course wondering why the illusion was acting as if he was high and seemed to not care about anything at all. The demon went on to say about how the brothers had trapped Lucifer for the moment just so he could extract the devil, so they could put the archangel back where he belonged. It was sickening to watch himself laugh at the idea, though he couldn’t help but slightly agree that it was not a good plan of action. His brother was the only one who could stop Amara. He was useless as himself. Lucifer was nowhere near the best choice, but he was the only rational choice they had. 

Cas was jerked from his own thoughts by the sounds of a fight destroying the illumination of the kitchen. He knew he shouldn’t have expected any better, but watching himself smile and laugh at the fight made him want to grind his teeth. It’s not as if he had love for Crowley, yet no one deserved a beating from the archangel. Then hearing Sam’s voice reciting the exorcism, it was a blessing to hear. Crowley was saved but it had ceased reason for the illusion, so as Lucifer stormed away to take control once more, Cas fell to his knees in the middle of the bunker's kitchen of his mind. 

The gag had disintegrated, as well as one or two of the chains, yet he was still bound enough where it was near impossible to get up let alone move. He used some of the strength he had been saving to listen to what was happening only to hear once more how Lucifer was going to kill Sam and Dean. 

‘Leave them be! Lucifer! Stop!’ The stronger angel only laughed in response while his brother’s grace attacked the boy’s insides. When a sudden blast of energy shattered the wall of the church, Castiel couldn’t help shedding tears of joy. If he ever got a chance to speak with the darkness it would definitely be to thank her for her brilliant timing.

Words were exchanged briefly but then it was finally time. Lucifer gripped the horn, absorbing its power, and was going to attack Amara. The battle had come at last. Castiel remained as small as possible, letting Lucifer have full control as the horn filled them with power, which was shot right at God’s sister. For some reason the horns power sought out both Lucifer and himself within the vessel, sharing the power with them both. Cas allowed most of it to flow right through him, passing it onto Lucifer but still, at the very end, there was the last smallest sliver that Cas held on for himself. He hoped within hope that Lucifer would never know. 

In the end, it hadn’t worked, the horn hadn’t been enough and Lucifer hadn’t been strong enough. In fact, after all that power Lucifer was so weak he had stepped aside, practically forcing Castiel back in the reins of the vessel, which Amara pulled straight to her. He shuddered as the woman caressed his face but he also noticed her eyes widen narrowly, knowing at the moment the angel she wished for was not in front of her. 

“Cas!” Castiel nearly cried once more as he turned around and looked at Dean. It had been so long since he had heard his voice. He had so many things to say, but Amara had control now and he didn’t dare risk saying a word around her. He might not have been the angel she wanted but they both knew Lucifer was still within him. She had released the boys from Luc’s hold and that was the last he saw of them before a blinding light lit up the church. 

It had been a form of over necessary transportation, yet during it Lucifer had taken back the wheel, as they landed and then was slammed against a metal storage container in Amara’s hideout. Castiel sat quietly once more while Lucifer tried to reason with their aunt, who of course wasn’t buying any of Luc’s play. Then pain. Nothing but full on horrible, excruciating, full body eating itself from the inside out, other worldly agonizing pain. Lucifer took the majority of it, yet there was still plenty for Castiel to experience. It suddenly stopped, Lucifer slumping in the force that held him to the metal wall. Amara stepped forward once again cupping the vessel’s cheek. 

“Castiel, while your pathetic brother calls out for my own brother, I have a job for you. Call out to Dean. I saw it. He looked only at you. You…you share a bond with him as well, don’t you? Yes…I see it…I sense it…now use it. Use it, call out to him, make him come to me! I want him just as much as my brother, so call, Castiel. Call out to him!” And with that the pain returned as if it had never left. 

~To maybe be continued....


End file.
